Auld Lang Syne
by ChocolateTherapy
Summary: Let all acquaintance be forgot, and never brought to mind? Let all acquaintance be forgot and Auld Lang Syne. Sometimes talking things out leads to closure and clarity and other times- not so much.


**A/N: So…This just popped into my head when I heard there would be a New Years Eve episode. No spoilers. Just my own imagination. Hope you enjoy!**

Auld Lang Syne

 _Well_ , Josh thought, as he made his way through the crowd at Topanga's, _this is ironic_.

Usually, Maya was the one to seek him out during any family/friends gatherings, but tonight something was different. He'd been at the New Years Eve party for almost two hours and she'd only looked his way once. And that was when Riley pointed him out to her in the crowd. She'd smiled and him and waved and- well that was it, just a smile and a wave. No high-pitched squealing, no running and jumping on him, no longing puppy dog eyes, nothing.

And he should be happy about this new development. It was exactly what he wanted. Only, there was a small part of him that actually enjoyed Maya's crush on him. What could he say? It was flattering. She was a little over zealous and came on way too strong, but she was also endearing and adorable. He liked that she didn't mess around, she wasn't timid or shy, she went after what she wanted and made no apologies. He liked that about her- she was bold and gutsy.

She was also ignoring him. And for some inexplicable reason that bothered him more than it should considering their three-year age difference. The last thing he needed was a young barely teenage girl pining after him and yet- he kind of missed the way she used to swoon and sigh over his every move. He was being ridiculous. If Maya was finally over her crush on him he should be thankful, not disappointed. At least he that's what he told himself even as his eyes kept darting over at her throughout the night.

She was sitting with his niece and their friends by the front door as usual. Talking, laughing, doing what teenagers do at a party where there were dozens of chaperones. Josh couldn't put his finger on it, but something was different about the group of friends. They weren't uncomfortable exactly, just wary, maybe? Riley and Maya, who were usually attached at the hip, were sitting away from each other. The former Dr. Turtleneck in between them. Maya was cozied up next to Lucas, Zay sitting on the other side of him. To anyone who didn't know them they probably appeared perfectly normal. But Josh did know them and they looked- odd. Perhaps, it was the worried looks Maya kept shooting Riley or the way the brunette ignored them and smiled, a little too brightly, back at her.

Something was definitely up.

So naturally when Maya broke away from the group and went to get a drink at the counter, Josh decided that he was quite parched himself.

"Hey, Josh," Maya took a sip of her drink as he walked up to her. "Are you having a good time?"

"Yeah," he answered, "how about you?"

The cup in her hands seemed to become more interesting than he was, "Mmhmm"

"So that's it?" He asked, "that's all I get? No Uncle Boing? No declarations of adoration? Just a few pleasantries and a mumble?"

Maya exchanged the weight in her legs for a few beats before answering, "if it makes you feel any better, you're still so good looking that you make my eyes hurt."

He laughed, "Yeah? Well you're making my eyes hurt a little tonight too. You look beautiful Maya." And she did. The dress she wore was red with sequined detailing on the bodice, that flared out just above her knees made her look far older than her fourteen years and Josh had to remind himself of their age difference for the second time that time tonight.

"Thanks," she answered meeting his gaze, a pink glow spreading across her cheekbones. "How long are you staying?"

"Until midnight at least."

Maya shook her head, "that's not what I meant-"

"I know what you meant," he stepped closer to her unconsciously, "I'm only staying for tonight. I drive back to Philly in the morning."

"Right. School starts soon."

"Yeah."

She stepped away from him, and that's when Josh glanced over her shoulder and met a pair a stony green eyes spying him from across the room. They weren't narrowed at him exactly, but they were obviously concerned and there was no mistaking the warning they held. Josh was intrigued. Well, well, well. This was a new development.

"So," Josh said, turning his attention back to Maya, "you and Mr. Howdy, huh? When did that happen?"

Maya wrinkled her brow, "How did you know about that?"

"Let's call it intuition."

Maya looked skeptical, but admitted, "it's nothing, I mean nothing's happened. Exactly. Not really. It-it's complicated."

"It always is," he said, "should I be jealous?" It was a vain attempt to make her smile.

"I don't think you're the jealous type Josh," she replied. "Especially not over me."

"Don't sell yourself short, Gorgeous."

Despite the shy smile Maya waved him off, but the high school senior persisted.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

The petite blonde shook her head, "it's a long story." Her vagueness only seemed to pique his interest all the more.

"I don't have anywhere to be," he said, sitting down on one of the stools at the counter and gesturing to the empty one beside it.

Maya glanced at the chairs then gave Josh a dubiously look, "why do you want to know?"

The older boy shrugged, "you just seem really shaken up," he answered, "I mean you haven't jumped on my back once, I'm concerned."

Finally, a genuine smile from the petite blonde and as usual it lit up her whole face and Josh found himself dazzled in the aftermath.

"C'mon Maya, what's going on. You've never had any trouble spilling your guts to me before. Don't get shy on me now."

For a few moments Josh thought she would walk away from him, but finally she sighed and pulled out a seat and sat down next to him.

"What happened?"

She let out a humorless laugh, " too much happened, is what happened."

"You don't have to give me any specifics," he assured her.

Maya shook her head as if clearing her thoughts, "I did something that I shouldn't have, actually I did a lot of things that I shouldn't have. I lied to my best friend and that's not the worst of it. The worst of it, is that she knew I was lying about _everything_. And now- now it's all messed up. I can't talk to her and I can't talk to _him_ -" she cut off suddenly seemingly overwhelmed and Josh grabbed her hand.

"Look, you'll get through this. You and Riley are the Dream Team. And Friar? Well, these hormone kind of things usually work themselves out." Not completely true. But he didn't want add to her stress.

"What if it's more than just hormones?"

"What do you mean?"

"It's hard to explain,"

"Try."

She took a deep breath, "it's like Pandora's box."

"OK?"

"Have you ever felt something for someone that was so strong that you're afraid of it, like it's so big that you don't think your body can contain it? So you put it in this box in your mind and you lock it up tight and you never even think about opening it. Because you know that if you open it, even just a little bit, everything that you're feeling or have felt or will feel will come flying out of it and you'll never be able to put it all back again. And everything will change."

"Maya?"

"I don't want things to change," she almost pleaded, "I mean look what happened when Pandora got curious?"

"Yeah, well I don't think this is exactly the same thing. What are you so afraid of?"

She bit her lip, "I'm afraid of risking everything for something that might not last."

Josh squeezed her hand, "there are no guarantees, Maya."

"I know that," she sighed, "I know that better than most people." Then she changed gears on him, "do you know why liking you was so easy?"

"Because of my devastating good looks and natural swagger?" He wiggled his eyebrows playfully.

Her laughter sounded like bells and it released a tension in Josh's shoulders he didn't know he had.

"Yes, but also because I think I always knew deep down that you were always going be out of reach. Like a celebrity crush, it would never be real, but I liked the idea of it."

"Really? Because that's not how you acted," he said.

"You're a good guy," she explained, "the kind of guy that I want to end up with."

Josh shouldn't be stunned by her blatant honesty because that was Maya. She'd always been upfront, wearing her feelings for him like a badge on her sleeve, but she still managed to surprise him with her vulnerability and he was thankful that she felt safe enough with him to show him that.

"Liking you, falling for you, it was safe in a way because if- _when_ it crashed and burned I wasn't hurting anyone but myself."

He was beginning to puzzle things together, "and now by liking the Cowboy you think you're hurting Riley."

"I know I am," she said, "and not just her, everyone. I just can't think of a way to fix it without-"

"Breaking your heart too," he finished and she glared up at him.

"I'm being selfish."

"You're being human."

"I'm used to bad things happening, I'm used to being disappointed. She's not and I don't want her to ever be used to that, especially because of me."

Josh reached gave he a sympathetic look, "you can't protect her forever. No matter how much you want to."

"You're right," she said, the determined glint returning to her eyes, "but I can protect her from this."

Before Maya could run off and throw herself into the fiery pits of teenage angst in the name of friendship Josh stopped her with a question, "how does he feel?"

"Who?"

"Lucas."

"I don't know. I-we haven't really talked about everything, yet."

That was strange. Maya was being evasive.

"Well, doesn't he get a say in this?"

"I guess-"

"Talk to him before you do anything rash."

Maya bit her lip, worry etched in her young face.

"He deserves to have his say, Maya," Josh pushed.

This was a little uncharacteristic of the blonde. She usually liked to be upfront. However, Josh was beginning to suspect that when it came to her feelings about Lucas Friar, Maya was locked up tighter than Iron Mountain.

Interesting.

"I don't want to know how he feels," she whispered, the anxiety written all over face.

"Why not?"

"Because I'm not ready to open up Pandora's box yet. It might not contain evil or destroy the Earth. But it'll change _my_ world completely. And nothing will ever be same again."

"Why are you so afraid of change, Maya? Change can be a good thing."

She shook her head, "not for me. I don't like uncertainty. I don't like surprises. I like knowing what I'm getting into. I like to know where I'm going-" she broke off and laughed, "you must think I'm acting pretty immature, huh?"

Josh rubbed is thumb along the back of her hand, "no," he answered simply. "I think that the changes in your life haven't always been good. And it's normal to be afraid of not knowing what's going to happen next. But without change there's no growth. You don't want to regret the things you never did-"

"I want to regret the things I did do," she finished and Josh cocked an eyebrow.

"I've never heard that one before."

"It's a Maya Hart original," she grinned up at him.

"I like it," he returned her smile. "Now, I think I've kept your from your friends long enough. Time to face the music."

Maya grimaced, "Does it have to be tonight?"

Josh shrugged, "It's seems pretty fitting to me. After all, isn't that what the New Year is all about? Change. A fresh start."

"I guess so." Her tone was sullen and reluctant.

"C'mon Maya, have a little faith."

"OK." She said, "I'll try." Still apprehensive, but much less morose than a second ago, ah, progress.

She stood up and grabbed the drink she'd barely touched with her free hand, "Thanks Josh. I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship."

He smiled and realizing he still held her other hand captive. Then without giving it a second thought he tugged her forward and brushed his lips softly against hers in a quick chaste kiss.

"What was that for?"

Her voice was steady, her limbs stable, there were no signs of any other emotion besides sincere curiosity coming from her voice. Josh deflated a little bit. She truly had gotten over her crush on him. If he'd kissed her a few months ago she probably would have latched on and suffocated both of them. He should be happy. Ecstatic really. But he couldn't shake this sense of discontent. He should be jumping for joy and yet-

"Uh, Josh?" Maya's voice pulled him from his thoughts.

Oh right. She'd asked him a question.

So he shrugged his shoulders in what he hoped looked like nonchalance and said, "just something to remember me by."

"Thank you," she pulled her hand from his, "Happy New Year, by the way."

"Happy New Year."

As Maya walked away from him, Josh took another peek at Lucas, whose expression had gone from concerned and apprehensive to stony and hostile.

Good, he thought. Maya had nothing to worry about. The kid was so far gone it wasn't funny. And if he was smart, which Josh had no reason at this time to believe he wasn't, if he ever got a chance with Maya he'd never let her go.

A heavy weight suddenly settled in the pit of the older teen's chest creating a dull aching sensation, he felt like he'd just let something important slip through his fingers. And that's when the light bulb switched on and Josh finally understood that he had let something go. Not the fourteen year old with stars in her eyes, but the woman that girl would become. The woman she was slowly growing into. And the small part of Josh that had entertained the idea of a future with Maya was now mourning the loss of that life. When a three-year age gap didn't matter. When all that wildness and passion and vulnerability was complimented by a maturity and understanding that only comes with age and life experience, he could almost see it; almost imagine what that life would have been like: messy and chaotic and absolutely wonderful. But that dream, a dream he didn't even realize he'd wanted until then, was gone. She'd replaced him with something greater, something more powerful and reliable than puppy love. But Josh was certain that one day when he was old and gray and looking back at his life he would lament the loss of Maya Hart, and what might have been.

 _Should_ _old_ _acquaintance be forgot_

 _and never brought to mind?_

 _Should_ _old_ _acquaintance be forgot_

 _and_ _Auld_ _Lang Syne?_

 _For_ _Auld_ _Lang Syne, my_ _dear_ _,_

 _For_ _Auld_ _Lang Syne,_

 _We'll take a cup of kindness yet,_

 _for_ _Auld_ _Lang Syne._

 _And surely you'll_ _buy_ _your pint_ _cup_ _!_

 _And surely I'll_ _buy_ _mine!_

 _And we'll take a cup o' kindness yet,_

 _For_ _Auld_ _Lang Syne._

 **A/N: Sooooo…What did ya think? You beautiful, beautiful people!**


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